On November 26, 2019, my beautiful Holly died.
She beat cancer. Twice. She defied all the odds set against her. And so, she got old. Until June this year, Holly was doing wonderfully...not just managing on 3 legs, but actually thriving. We hiked, we played, and yes, she was old, but she never let getting older slow her down much.
Then she started having bouts of severe anxiety coupled with entirely sleepless nights. It wasn't until September that I finally came to see that she had dementia...canine cognitive disorder. Most dogs, and people, with dementia can still live good quality lives, unless it comes with anxiety, fear and confusion. Sadly, that's the form Holly's took. By early November, I could no longer manage her symptoms nor keep her safe from herself. The bad days came more often than the good days, and her bad days were so horrid, for us both, and she was so fraught with anxiety and fear. Ultimately, I had to let her go.
It was so hard to stop choosing life for her. We went through so much together, and at every turn I always gambled on life and we always won. And I guess, even with this choice, we still won. Cancer didn't take her. Arthritis didn't cripple her. She didn't have a tragic accident. Instead, she got old. And isn't that what I wanted for her all these years? To experience life, to reach the end as an old dog instead of a young one?
It hurts. It will always hurt. But we had quite a ride together. I have no regrets, and if I could, I'd choose to do it all over again with her. I'll miss you, and remember you, forever Bub ❤
Before Holly died, my sister bought me a Wisdom Panel Breed DNA test. I got the results back in October, but I decided to wait til Christmas to look at them; to have a little piece of her with me, even though she is no longer here. I've never known her parentage, other than her previous owners told me that Holly's momma looked like a border collie; they saw her momma at the animal shelter that they adopted her from. Looks are a funny thing...it turns out Holly didnt have an ounce of border collie in her at all.
